Why Cats are Better than Dogs

1.Cats purr. Dogs drool.

2.Cats are much cleaner than dogs - they wash all over. Dogs are only interested in licking the one bit... Especially when you are eating.

3.Dogs have to be walked, rain or shine; cats do not! Let your average dog out on the street alone, and it will either get lost or run over. They have no common sense.

4.Cats rub your leg when they want affection, not when they're "in the mood".

5.Cats use a litter box. Dogs use your leg. And at least cats bury theirs. Dogs just leave that pile of shite right there for you to step in.

6.In 1996 over 10,000 U.S. deaths were attributed to a dog owner's choking on saliva during morning wake-up licks.

7.Cats always land on their feet. Dogs just won't let you throw them.

8.Cats will wait until you've read your morning paper before tearing it to shreds.

9.Cats look cute sleeping on the t.v. Dogs just crash right in front of the screen.

10.Fewer cat owners suffer from "Flappy Tail" lacerations than dog owners.

11.No one has ever had to "Beware of the Cat".

12.Cats bury their "presents". Dogs dig up others'.

13.Cats have better things to do than stick their nose in your crotch.

14.Why do you think they call it "Dog Breath?"

16.Dogs are undignified - begging is pathetic

17.Subsevience doesn't equal intelligence - he's a pack animal, and he's programmed to kiss your ass - it's his instinct. Cats are more picky about their friends. Lets face it, any asshole can find a dog to love him.

18.Dogs smell. And they downright stink when they are wet. Your average cat would have way more sense than to get caught out in a rain shower in the first place.

19.Garfield. Odie. Enough said

20.Cats are graceful and have decorum. Dogs are sloppy, clumsy and undignified. What's with the whole 'tongue hanging out' thing anyway? Not a good look.

21.The whole 'go fetch a stick' thing. Endlessly entertaining for a stupid dog. The cat just goes - "If you want it so badly, YOU get it! And why did you throw it away in the first place then? Yawwwwn!"

22.Dogs chase and very often even bite valuable citizens who are just trying to do their jobs, such as postmen, paper boys and garbage disposal guys. See #21.